Who Cares What Nansi Thinks?

One of my more embarrassing moments was when I sold my Oldsmobile Intrigue. I had actually gone to the dealership to look around and wound up signing on the dotted line. They guy said, "Let's clear out your old car so you can drive home in your new car." I almost tore up the contract.

I was not at all prepared for ANYONE to lift the trunk of my Olds. It was FULL of Mom's stuff. I had been carrying it around for over a year. It was crap that I didn't have room for in my house, but couldn't bring myself to toss.

I purged about half of it the next day because I went from a mid-sized luxury to a compact economy (VW Jetta) with about half the trunk room.

So, I've driven around another year and a half with a trunk full of mom's crap.

Last week, when I took Mom to the eye doctor, I had a heck of time cramming her wheel chair into the backseat of my Jetta. Plus it left black marks all over my seats. It would have been SO much easier to tuck the thing into the trunk...

Yesterday, Mike and I went to Mom's new room (yes, she's moved AGAIN) to rearrange her furniture. Her room was full of JUNK. I wish they would admit her to the hospital on the days they have rummage sales out in the parking lot!!! She had several serving platters and bowls. (This did not include the stack of Christmas platters I brought home with me a few weeks ago.) She had stacks of ancient magazines and ripped up puzzles books. She had a ton of bizarre little figurines--crap she would have pitched in her better days. etc. etc.

Mike watched as I rearranged and reorganized to get her two extra hospital tables OUT of the room. She was thrilled when she came back to see the finished product.

She's always thrilled. She can NEVER tell me what's missing. So why am I carting around a load of crap that she hasn't lain eyes on in nearly three years? Guilt.

So I sucked in a deep breath and went through the boxes and bags in the trunk. I could not find one item of hers that I thought she gave a fig about. I can't even figure out why I felt so compelled to keep the stuff.

It's all gone. The only thing in my trunk today is a big umbrella and an emergency roadside kit. I could fit TWO wheelchairs in there if I wanted to!

It's been a hard lesson for me to learn. It's not WHAT Mom collects, but THAT she collects that is the issue. Hoarders will hoard whatever is in their pathway. If they live in a diamond mine, it'll be diamonds. If they live in a nursing home, it's straws, butter pats, and salad dressing packets. And no matter what a hoarder hoards, they'll stack it to the rafters if you let them!

Today I decided that if MY rafters are going to be stacked, it'll be MY STUFF I stack!

Mom's eye surgery was uneventful today. She came out of it just fine. They didn't give her general anesthesia, but they gave her a sedative. She was still sort of happy in recovery.

We got there plenty early and had time to sit in the waiting area. Mom spotted a young woman across the room and commented that the woman looked like an idiot. WHAAA???? The lady was just sitting there. Mom swore that she was jumping up and down and "gyrating" like a floozy. Honest. She was just sitting there.

Mom accused me of trying to make her think she was crazy.

I was reminded of the last time Mom was in the hospital for a urinary tract infection. She kept seeing ME. The nurses told me that mom buzzed them several times to say her daughter, Nansi, was out in the hall looking for her. A few times they brought in people who happened to be out there. Mom would be so relieved, but the people weren't ME. And mom wouldn't believe them.

As the fog cleared, Mom realized that she'd been seeing things.

With the cataracts it's hard to tell when Mom's "seeing things" or just unable to clearly see what's really there. Last Sunday at dinner, the aide put a piece of cake at mom's plate. It was strawberry cake with a dollop of whipped cream on it. Mom thought it was smoked salmon with butter on it.

Today when we were driving back to the nursing home, Mom asked what I thought of the surgery. I said, "I don't know, Mom, I wasn't there." She said, "YES YOU WERE! I heard your voice the whole time!"

It dawned on me that when Mom's in distress she sees me, or hears me. Something tells me that fixed eyes isn't going to correct that misconceptions. :-)

My mom is having cataract surgery tomorrow. I'm a wreck. When this first started I was under the impression that all they did was scrape off the cataracts and it was over.

NOT ANYMORE... they actually remove the affected lens and replace it with an artificial lens. That just has me buggin' big time.

Recently, my mother told me that she'd been classified as "loud and disruptive" by her social worker. Imagine that!

Under the best of circumstances, my mother is loud and disruptive. She just is. I can't even imagine what she'd be like if this eye surgery somehow goes awry.

I had a dream the other night that I went to my husband's company picnic at a baseball game. Everyone in the stadiums got quiet and began chanting "you stuck your mother in a nursing home and now she's blind." Woke up drenched in sweat....

So the first eye is tomorrow... the other eye is two weeks later. By July 4th things will be OK... right???