Who Cares What Nansi Thinks?

A couple of years ago, I BEGGED Mike for XM radio for my car. He got it for me and I love it. I'm a talk radio ADDICT, among my favorites is the Oprah and Friends network. All of her regular TV guests, like Dr. Mehmet Oz, Nate Burkas, Gayle King, etc. have hour long shows.

One of my favorites on the Oprah network is Rabbi Schmuley. He's a family man, father of eight, and all around wise leader. I first became acquainted with Schmuley's style when he had a show on The Learning Channel. He would practically move in with troubled families and help them get to the root of their problems. He actually helped a family who lives right near here, and who shops at my husband's grocery store.

Schmuley is very down-to-earth and extremely wise. But today? Not so much....

He was on a rant about the tremendous untapped resource that is America's elderly population. He talked about warehousing old people and how we don't listen to them anymore. He said that the reason he's got a show is because we no longer turn to our elders for guidance.

I think the reason we "warehouse" our elderly is because modern medicine is keeping them alive longer and longer. How many nursing home residents are there because they've had massive strokes that have left them utterly helpless? Or how many are afflicted with dementia and Alzheimer's and simply aren't the person they used to be.

Many elderly Americans live out the last years of their lives in a near vegetative state. I can tell you, without equivocation, that I'd rather die than be strapped into a wheelchair and spoon fed every day! No doubt about it. Sadly, by the time a person is in that state, they are no longer able to articulate just WHAT their wishes are.

I am reminded of a lovely lady I knew who was slipping a little. She'd get lost around town, or show up for an appointment that didn't exist. She'd be at the doctor's and would totally have forgotten that she was just there yesterday. Her son was tied to an invalid wife, and was simply unable to divide himself into two people. He was forced to put his mom in a secure facility.

Fortunately, in my town, there is an entire facility dedicated strictly to all stages of Alzheimer's. His mom seemed to adapt pretty well. She still dressed nicely every day. She still got her hair done once a week. She was an avid reader, prolific gardener and extreme social butterfly.

For several years my friend visited with his Mom. He gleaned much from her experience in life-- even if there were times that she thought he was her husband and not her son. Sadly, one day something most unexpected happened. She had a series of devastating strokes that nearly killed her.

I say "nearly". The truth is, the strokes should have killed her, but they used extraordinary measures and "saved her life". Now she sits in a lamb's wool padded wheelchair/bed. She's completely unable to do anything for her self. The only thing she can say is "help me!" How heartbreaking.

I thought of my friend's mom today when Rabbi Schuley was lamenting the fact the we ignore our elderly. I love ya, Rabbi, but you got this one wrong. We're not ignoring them. We didn't ignore them. When they were able to guide us, we listened. But now their ability to guide us is gone and we're left with the task of making sure they're safe and comfortable. It's an impossible situation with no good answers.