Who Cares What Nansi Thinks?

A movie. I've watched it twice in 24 hours. I love Meg Ryan so it's not hard to watch one of her movies a couple of times. What drew me to this movie was it's description on the "INFO" tab. It said it was about a young writer who is taking care of his elderly grandmother.... Funny, when I watched the movie, it didn't seem to be about that at all.

This is one of those rare movies where I could see myself in all five of the major characters.

The guy. He's an aspiring writer who decides to take some time off to take care of his demented grandmother. (Olympia Dukakis) At one point Grandma answers the door with no pants on. The boy/man sternly says "Grandma, get with the program here. It's not OK for you to do anything that involves other people when you're not dressed. If you want to give the illusion that you're not completely demented, you will heed my advice on this, OK? Put some pants on!" (My co-workers have seen my mother naked.)

The Mom. (Meg Ryan) Her teenaged daughter thinks "she breaks her neck trying to make her life look like a crate and barrel store". The mom wants to connect with her teenaged daughter, but can't break through the contempt that the girl holds for her. The girl is mad at her mother because her father hasn't been faithful. The mom's 10 year old child is happy to let mom in. So the family has become dad/16 year old: Mom/10 year old. Mom's got interests, hopes, dreams, aspirations. People in the household don't always see it.

The teenager. She is so angry at her mother. Her mother is so LAME! She's mad at her dad too, but she's madder at her mom. And she can't be mad at everybody or who would take care of her? The teenager has interests, hopes, dreams, aspirations. People in the household don't always see it.

The 10 year old. She's the youngest in the family. But often, she's the voice of reason. She reads up on everything. If something scares her, she finds out everything she can about the thing. She breaks it up into small, digestible pieces and conquers it. The chips often fall on her. When The Mother got sick, the 10 year old stepped in. The dad and the sister didn't know quite what to do. So the 10 year old finds out about the illness and takes it on.

The Grandmother. While I see my own mother in this character, I can also see myself. Sometimes I just don't WANT to be responsible. I want to dress funny, wear funny hats, and sort of check out. This grandmother keeps telling her grandson that she's dying. But he doesn't believe her. And when she choses her time with dignity (like I hope to someday do) he's devastated by the loss. While I never want to inflict pain on my children, I do want them to feel an empty place when I'm gone. An empty place that isn't a huge relief.