Who Cares What Nansi Thinks?

One of my acquaintances, who is also charged with the responsibility of her elderly mother, said, "Sometimes that Brooklyn Bridge seems pretty inviting..." It was a veiled reference to suicide. I know she's not contemplating suicide. She is just frustrated and using extreme language. Funny how that helps. How often do we say, "I could just KILL him" or "I'm breaking my neck here."?

I'm astounded at the amount of stress there is in dealing with an aging parent. It's so much like raising an infant! The other day I took my mom and her roommate to a family gathering. I had to be sure and pick them up right after they'd had their medication. I had two walkers to contend with. I even had to pack a change of clothes and disposable underpants (diapers) for them. Then I had to watch what they were eating. My mom especially is bad about eating the wrong things. Then I had to be sure they were back at the nursing home in time for their next round of medication.

Remember car seats, diaper bags, and feeding times? It's not a lot different, logistically and emotionally.

Outings are a monumental undertaking. But so is day to day life. I have to be sure my mother has adequate clothing. I have to see that she has spending money. About half the time she loses her money. So throwing it in the trash can sometimes seem like streamlining the inevitable. Mom has needs and desires that are not met by the nursing homes. She loves to read. She loves chocolate. She likes to watch cable TV. These are needs that I must see are met.

Mom isn't the hardest part of my life. I can't even tell you what is the hardest. Car trouble? Full time job? Raising two school-aged children? Dividing myself between family, work, mother? For five years I did it as a single Mom. I am so grateful for my hubby and his family. I don't know how I'd pull it all off, I really don't.

I've thought about "the Brooklyn Bridge" in the same abstract way my friend did today. I come away with this mantra:"Life is good and well worth living."